If You Don't
by GhostNox181
Summary: The Flock is grown. He has a girl, and it's not Max. While she longs for a second chance, she knows she can't make him love her. Songfic, oneshot.


**Hey! I realized, while some *cough* most of my things are songfics, I haven't done an actual song fic in awhile, and then I randomly started humming this song and it half fit two of my fanfics, so I decided just to make it its own little story. It's short, not so sweet, and well, I hope you like it! Song is… I can't make you love me by Nina.**

**Max's POV**

I stared wearily at the clock beside my bed. The bright red numbers flashed as they changed and beeped once, alerting me to the fact that it was officially four o'clock in the morning. I had been trying to sleep all night, but it hadn't been working, so somewhere around two I had given up and taken to staring at the clock. I had tried reading for ten minutes, which had turned my light on. I had never turned it back off again. But now, as my room was getting minutely lighter as the sun was beginning to come up, I felt it was unnecessary and reached over to turn it off, rolling onto my side away from the clock.

_Turn down the light  
>Turn down the bed<em>

I used to get up and go sleep in his bed. He wouldn't mind. But now it was considered socially unacceptable. He had her. I was the best friend. I couldn't just sleep in his room any time I had troubles falling asleep in my own room. It would give him a bad image. I didn't want that.

I didn't want to ruin anything for him. She was a sweet girl, but I knew she disliked how close we used to be. 'Used to be…' I thought as I stared out my window at the sky as it grew lighter. He wasn't much into being best friends anymore. He had school, and work, and her. I was important, but second best. Who wants to be second best?

'You do. You don't care what you are, as long as you mean something…' I told myself.

_Turn down these voices  
>Inside my head<em>

Around five I got up, restless and irritated, unable to remain lying down for much longer. I slipped on a pair of sneakers and an old cardigan and went outside to lie on the newly dewed grass to get a last glance at the fading stars, basking in the early morning crispness and sounds. I did this often now, since I often couldn't sleep. The fresh morning air calmed me, letting me forget for a little while.

I was so absorbed in my relaxation that I almost didn't notice when he lied down beside me, pulling my head onto his chest, like the olden days. He didn't say anything, but he didn't have to. If I asked him to, anything I asked him to say would be a lie. So we remained in silence, comfortable, but not at all as it should have been.

_Lay down with me  
>Tell me no lies<br>Just hold me close  
>And don't patronize<em>

"What are your plans for today?" I asked, hopeful; as he held a hand down to help me up. Everyone else and I had been planning to visit a new museum that had recently opened. It was our bi-weekly group outage to stay in touch and up to date with what was going on in each other's lives. Sure, he, I, and Angel still lived together, but Iggy and Nudge had moved in together somewhere else, and Gazzy had gone off to college an hour away.

"I'm hanging with Becca." He replied, and I knew I nearly visibly deflated, but I tried to cover it by smiling.

"That's cool. I just wish you'd spend more time with your family." I hated saying the word. I didn't want to be family.

"Don't give me that, Max." He said warningly.

"It's the truth; you spend so much time with her. We hardly see you anymore."

"Yeah, and you've buried yourself in your books. Don't put this all on me."

_Don't patronize me._

I watched him storm into the house, and in response, I sat back down on the grass. I had been burying myself in my work to get away from the hurt I was feeling from watching him be happy. Because he wasn't with me. I couldn't just change that. He was happy. Everyone could see it. And almost everyone could see how it was affecting me. Everyone, but him. Either he chose to be oblivious, or he really was ignorant. Either way, he couldn't tell.

As long as he was happy with her.

_I can't make you love me  
>If you don't…<em>

We had tried, years ago. And we had decided it was for the best that we just be friends. But I still loved him. Oh how I loved him. I loved his eyes, and how even if his face was completely blank, you could read anything he felt in them. I loved his smile, and how rare it was. I loved his laugh. I loved his sarcasm, how it matched mine. I loved everything about him.

It didn't change anything. He had Becca, and they had been together for nearly a year now. She made him laugh, and smile, and I could just tell they were good together. I had missed my chance, and I had never tried hard enough to get him back. Now that he clearly didn't want me, I just had to watch from the sidelines. I feel like I had always been watching from the sidelines.

_You can't make your heart feel  
>Something it won't<em>

_Here in the dark  
>In these final hours<em>

_I will lay down my heart  
>And I'll feel the power<em>

_But you won't  
>No you won't<em>

_Cuz I can't make you love me  
>If you don't<em>

It had been late, maybe eleven or so, when he got back from wherever he had gone with Becca. I had been sitting on the front porch swing in my pajama shorts, a white camisole, and white cardigan, staring at the stars, not really waiting for him to come home, but still happy nonetheless. He was surprised to see me. I don't know why, I had done this before. It wasn't intentional; I just wandered out here a lot, and most times were when he had a date. I think it was my subconscious asking for me to lookout for him.

I looked up when he stepped on the porch, slightly startled from the slight trance I had been in. We held eye contact for a little bit and he frowned slightly. Then, out of nowhere, he leant down and wrapped his arms around me. I sat there, stunned and very confused, before closing my eyes and bringing my hands over his arms awkwardly, though that was kind of his fault for hugging me while he was standing and I was sitting. I don't know what provoked this hug, but lord only knows I cherished it with all my heart.

_I'll close my eyes  
>And then I won't see<em>

_The love you don't feel  
>When you're holding me<em>

_Morning will come  
>And I'll do what's right<em>

_Just give me til then  
>To give up this fight<em>

_And I will give up this fight_

All that was in that hug was everything I realized I could never have. I knew it was all hers and I was nothing but a friend to him. I had known this for awhile, but whatever he had put into that hugged crashed it down over my head like a glass plate, and I swallowed a huge lump of tears. He would never be mine again, but if I could just have him til morning, then I'd be happy. I'd let her take him then.

When he let go, I motioned for him to sit down next to me, and he smiled that smile I used to believe belonged only to me, before taking a seat. We then watched the stars together for long into the night, sometimes talking about meaningless things, sometimes just sitting in silence.

_Cuz I can't make you love me  
>If you don't<em>

_You can't make your heart feel  
>Something it won't<em>

_Here in the dark  
>In these final hours<em>

_I will lay down my heart  
>And I'll feel the power<em>

_But you won't  
>No you won't<em>

_Cuz I can't make you love me  
>If you don't<em>

He was watching me with rapt attention, eyes wide. I refused to look at him. If I did, my resolve would crumble. I had already promised myself to give him up to Becca, the pretty girl sitting beside him, who was not really listening to me. She was staring at him as he continued to stare at me. His drink fell from his hand, shattering on the floor and spilling everywhere, but he hardly noticed. Becca gasped and began cleaning it, but I stared out over the crowd and continued clutching the microphone for dear life.

The band was playing the gentle music behind me, and the whole club was dim with couples dancing. Becca had tried to get him to dance at the beginning, but he had ignored her. I hadn't known he could do that. He never had the entire time I had known her.

Closing my eyes I took a deep breath. The last verse had the most emotion.

_Cuz I can't make you love me  
>If you don't<em>

_You can't make your heart feel  
>Something it won't<em>

_Here in the dark  
>In these final hours<em>

_I will lay down my heart  
>And I'll feel the power<em>

_But you won't  
>No you won't<em>

I opened my eyes again, this time meeting his. He was still staring at me, but his face was blank. Only his eyes, those hauntingly beautiful eyes, showed any emotion. Regret, I think. I was too far gone to read it, my heart going numb. Eyes still locked, I sang the last line.

"_**Max, why won't you meet Becca?"**_

"_**Max, why are you so quiet?"**_

"_**Max, why are you pushing yourself so hard?"**_

"_**Max, why don't you take a break, live a little!"**_

"_**Max, why don't you come out with me and Becca?"**_

"_**Max, why are you still awake?"**_

"_**Max, why don't you talk to me anymore?"**_

"_**Max, why are you crying?"**_

_Cuz I can't make you love me…_

The final notes of the song played as the lights came up a little, but I was already off the stage and heading out, all thoughts of him draining from my head. I was going to stay with a friend across the country while I searched for my own place. I had already sent most of my stuff, and found a job near her house.

I felt no emotion as I pushed open the back door to the club, ignoring his calls for me to wait, and Becca's to explain what was going on. I had no tears because in my head, he didn't exist. I had cried already, and now I was choosing to remove him from my life to recreate my own, and let him have his the way he apparently wanted it. My heart may not forget him, and certainly it was trying to break through the barriers I was putting up, but I was determined to let him go. He obviously didn't want me.

So I was leaving. I was leaving for him. And the farther I got, the more my mind erased him from itself.

I couldn't make him love me. So I was going to make myself forget about him instead.

Yeah. I lost.

**I hope you liked it. I was debating whether or not they should end up together, but I think so many have happy endings, that this one deserved sad. I hope it did it well. One train of thought almost had Max kill herself and I was like… I'm not quite up to writing that yet… so here we are! This is my sad songfic… um. Yay?**


End file.
